You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My vagina just clenched in fear
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.