There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara