I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?