I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.