I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.