why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.