Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito