Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.