Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
