Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

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  I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.

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  (630): I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME. http://tfl.nu/7nql
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  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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  (630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl
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  its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it

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  (630): its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it http://tfl.nu/8bew
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  Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them

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  (630): Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them http://tfl.nu/urf6
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  Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze

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  (630): Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze http://tfl.nu/yikf
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  I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle

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  (630): I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle http://tfl.nu/8rh4
  Replies (4) Good night (1577) Bad night (395)
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  I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember

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  (630): I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember http://tfl.nu/77e3
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  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
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  i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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  (630): i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out http://tfl.nu/xbjc
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  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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  (630): I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead http://tfl.nu/lnf3
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  That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

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  (630): That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits." http://tfl.nu/sgvn
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  I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.

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  (630): I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track. http://tfl.nu/9q0f
  Replies (1) Good night (241) Bad night (363)
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  Thank you for not boning my boss.

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  (630): Thank you for not boning my boss. http://tfl.nu/8tof
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  i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.

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  (630): i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other. http://tfl.nu/01p2
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  Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.

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  Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.

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  (630): Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me. (1-630): Pulling out all the stops on being a lady. http://tfl.nu/6gwr
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