That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
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I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.