Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.