she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
worst night to have a conscience
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.