I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook