over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?