I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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