Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize