I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore