she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.