Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with