Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?