True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....