its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore