I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.