Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.