God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.