did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
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Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
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Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck