ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
farters have to be the big spoon...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl