He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?