There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.