There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.