Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate