Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.