I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.