Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
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and i looked up. we had an audience...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...