I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it