porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
