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Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
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