I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.