Don't you send me to vm
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
