drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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