It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?