The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be