yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath