I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i out mim tonsoeep
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.