I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck