It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.