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Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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