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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
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