Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (740)

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  Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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  (740): Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/hc6j
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  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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  (740): Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night http://tfl.nu/r09y
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  He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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  (740): He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick. http://tfl.nu/4s44
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  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

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  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
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  I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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  (740): I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you http://tfl.nu/cn0s
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  i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

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  (740): i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/envw
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  I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake

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  (740): I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake http://tfl.nu/bl2k
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  at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

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  (740): at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!! http://tfl.nu/mp48
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  There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again

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  (740): There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again http://tfl.nu/gd8v
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  my lips still taste like vagina

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  so you liked breakfast?

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  ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead

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  (740): my lips still taste like vagina (1-740): so you liked breakfast? (740): ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead http://tfl.nu/odt6
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  Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

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  (740): Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song http://tfl.nu/pqc4
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  My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome

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  (740): My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome http://tfl.nu/ktp3
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  i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one

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  (740): i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one http://tfl.nu/4erg
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.

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  i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..

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  (614): good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut. (740): i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck.. http://tfl.nu/ltlc
  Replies (37) Good night (4929) Bad night (867)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.

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  (740): ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days. http://tfl.nu/z4ue
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