there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
