Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The feeling are messing with the penis
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.