He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.