so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt