Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it