Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Montana (406)

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  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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  (406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq
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  don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room

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  (406): don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room http://tfl.nu/gche
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  I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

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  (406): I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth. http://tfl.nu/0auz
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  sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.

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  (406): sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of. http://tfl.nu/ki5k
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  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
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  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
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  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
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  You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt

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  That literally makes no sense

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  Exactly

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  (406): You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt (1-406): That literally makes no sense (406): Exactly http://tfl.nu/db6l
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  Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift

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  (406): Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift http://tfl.nu/uiqc
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  I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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  (406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5
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  The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.

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  (406): The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home. http://tfl.nu/zgt5
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  Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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  (406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6
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  sick fucks of a feather flock together

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  (406): sick fucks of a feather flock together http://tfl.nu/mkne
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  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
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  just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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  (406): just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution http://tfl.nu/z6cd
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