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I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
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