Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight