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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
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