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I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
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