He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.