After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL