A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
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If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.