DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them