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can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
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